Usain Bolt retained his Olympic title and in doing so pushed the UK Deed Poll office into overdrive. There has been a 900% rise in the number of applications for name changes after Bolt proved that your name really does matter. Bolt by name, bolt by nature.
Some people have opted to change their family name to Bolt in the hope of having children who will emulate the great man but most have just picked up the baton and ran with it. A statement from Deed Poll services this evening read, 'Now that people have realised that names really are significant things in deciding their destiny there have been a flood of applications. 90% have asked to have their family name changed to either a) Loaded b) Minted c) Moneybags. The remaining 10% have gone for Donkeydick, Shakespeare or Bossman. There have also been a few Skywalkers, Presleys and Wombles, but no more than is normal for this time of year.'
The importance of family names has been long overlooked in this country. Centuries of passing them down from father to offspring have diluted their original significance and their power has been obscured. Authors had long tried to remind everyone how essential they were but the message had not got through. It's taken this mutant runner to show once and for all how important they are. Now that the secret's out who can say what the next few months hold with the postal service very worried about the coming chaos. David Cameron is also set to urge on in every three families to change their name to 'Strongeconomicgrowth'.
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